Wednesday, February 6, 2008


Okay, so I have been having the creepiest dreams. There was a time in my life when most of my dreams were about running from things or trying to fly (only once did I actually succeed in flying). This was mostly in high school. Since then, my dreams have become random, they don’t have much bearing on life or reality. (Not that running a lot and flying were reality.) And they have never been strong emotionally. The other night, I had a dream that I was sitting at a picnic table with some girls and we were all working on laptops. One of the girls suddenly reached over and totally broke my laptop. I think we had been arguing about something, but nothing serious enough to break someone’s computer over. So she breaks it and I jump up and all these mean awful names are going through my head of what to call this girl, all the while fighting myself to keep from saying it or doing mean things back. I eventually just picked up my now broken laptop and walked away, but I was so ANGRY. I don’t remember ever feeling that kind of anger really ever in my life, but especially in my dreams. I just wanted her to cease to be. It was frightening.
So this morning was weird dream number 2. (Or 3, I told Alann about one but I don’t remember it anymore.) It started in a restaurant in Iowa. It was my family and Alann and some other random man. We are waiting to be seated. We are finally seated and we got rolls and water, we ordered, and then we waited. Time fast forwarded about an hour and a half, still no food. I get up and go over to talk to our waitress, who has quit coming to see us. I ask if I can talk to the manager, she flat out tells me no, I cannot. I ask if there is anyone else I can talk to, why are we being treated like this, etc etc. She is just exceedingly rude to me. And smiling rather cruelly the whole time. So we leave. We get into the car, which is overfilled with gardening supplies. We are sitting on stuff, on laps, just trying to all fit in the car. As we are leaving, we hear an announcement to the effect of “the storm has passed, we don’t need to worry anymore.” So we start driving down the road, and I keep almost falling out of the car (we can’t get the door shut). So we pull over into another restaurant parking lot. And I start pulling crap out of the car, rearranging it so that we can fit better. Amy comes over and asks “what’s with all those people leaving the restaurant?” I look over and they are running to the side of the building. I tell her “oh they are just done eating, let’s eat here.” Amy again gets my attention and says “What’s wrong with the sky?” I look up and it has gone completely black, and then yellow.
“TORNADO!!!” I yell. “Everyone back in the car!!!” (Why this is logical, I don’t know.) SO we get in the car and mom is driving and she starts backing up, and then I say “Wait mom, park the car! The restaurant has a storm cellar. They will let us in. Let’s go.” The car stops moving, I get out, and it is absolutely still and silent. I know in my bones that it is too late, that the storm is upon us. And I am absolutely terrified!! (Just thinking about it makes my heart race again.) This is real terror. I have never felt real terror in my life and I hope I never do, because this was scary enough.
I wake up at this point, I never actually saw the storm hit or anything. So, I am awake, lying in bed, and it is silent in my house . No movement, no furnace, no dog breathing, nothing. I lay there a minute, and I see headlights come in the window and hear tires crunch on the snow. Suddenly, I am convinced it must be Alann, and he must be home from work early because he was fired. And the terror grips me again. I lay very still waiting for him to come in. But it wasn’t him. After a few minutes, I shake off the terror and get up. I got dressed and headed to the gym. As I was dressing and going to the gym, I could still feel my heart racing. When I got there, there was all kinds of footage on tv about the killer tornados last night. I had seen some footage last night too. I have never taken something that I saw on TV and put it into my dreams, nor have I ever had the dream feeling carry over into real life. I don’t know what is going on. Maybe I need to lay off the vanilla wafers or something. It’s just weird and creepy.

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