Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Alex = big boy

My dear little man is growing up so fast. In the past few weeks, he has decided some rather big things.
1)" Crawling is for losers." He does not want to crawl. He has gone from army crawling to pulling up on everything and standing and looking around. Walking here we come. He is at that stage where he pulls up in his crib, then can't get down and gets sad. But he looks SO happy when you walk in to get him. It's darn cute, if a little annoying.
2) "Baby food is for suckers". He tolerates the oatmeal and fruit puree in the morning. Sometimes I can sneak it in a second time. But the third time of the day, he has had enough and wants real food. He eats a staggering variety. I always thought Claire was a good eater, but this boy puts her to shame, both in quantity and variety. He will literally eat for 30 minutes at a meal. Yes I know, he is still practicing right now, but a lot of it ends up in his tummy. So far, he has had pickles, which he LOVED; broccoli, which she wouldn't eat until later; canned pears; cooked chicken, which she only recently started eating; cheese, which she STILL won't eat; sweet potato cubes, which she still doesn't like; spaghetti squash, that she won't even tolerate on her plate; and a variety of other veggies. Oh, and half a taquito one night. He stole it off my plate while I was holding him on my lap and gummed his way through it. He did eat mostly tortilla, but he got some of the meat in there too. It shocks me when I give him something that I don't expect him to like and he takes to it right away. Next on my list to try- yogurt, cottage cheese, and maybe more meats. Now comes the hard part about feeding a baby- trying to figure out what he can/ should eat, what won't be too much trouble to make for him, what will be a good variety for him, and what won't choke him. Oh, he also loves popcorn, puffies, and cheerios. I am glad for some of it though, because Claire likes canned pears, he likes canned pears, I can buy a can of pears rather than the plastic cups that are more expensive. So I know it will get easier, but for now, it is slightly difficult.
 3) "Breastfeeding is for mama's boys, which I am not". Okay, this is mostly for the ladies. Or I guess if no one cares, just scroll down. I made it to 6 months breastfeeding Alex. I was very happy. That was my goal. I decided to just keep going until I hit another hard spot. I figured the trip to Phoenix would do me in. Nope, still going strong after our trip. Then we came home. And suddenly, failure. He's on strike, he was teething (no teeth yet), he's sick, I'm sick and dehydrated, he's congested, and he wants the bottle more than me. I've been telling him for almost 2 weeks now that "today is the day" that I wean him. Alann is tired of hearing me go back and forth. I finally said "okay, I'm done" on Tuesday (in last week of Dec). He didn't nurse all day, I didn't pump. I had a WIC appointment to change my food packages on Weds. The nutritionist talked me into trying again. It wasn't too late. I could still pump and try to get the supply back up. So I tried to get the supply back up. It didn't work. She suggested switching him to a sippy cup for formula, that way if he wants that nursing comfort, he has to come to me. I feel like I'm crazy. I know it's a totally emotional thing. Basically, I feel like a failure. Why can't my body just do this one thing right? Seriously, it irks me. My pregnancies are easy, labors are pretty easy, babies are perfectly healthy and gorgeous (in my own opinion) to boot. Why can't I be happy with that? I don't know. Breastfeeding was an odd roller coaster the last few weeks. In the morning, I'm all gung ho- today is the day we are going to break the cycle and not give you a bottle this afternoon. By afternoon, my resolve is weakening. And when he is screaming and hungry before bed, I break down and give him the bottle and decide not to nurse anymore. Then in the morning I'm feeling okay about it again and give it another go. It's exhausting, but something about me just wouldn't let it go. (Yes mom, paper snowflakes...I know.) I was SO excited when I made it to 6 months. then 7 months. I've nursed Alex for double what I nursed Claire. I should feel great about it. And part of me does. And part of my wants to cry and scream and shout "why can't this just be easy!" I'm reminded of the phrase "I never said it would be easy. I only said it would be worth it." Don't know who said it. I think it may be church related. I knew it wouldn't be easy. I assumed it would be easy with Claire. I learned. I assumed it would be hard with Alex, and it wasn't too bad. We had hard times, but mostly it's been easier than with Claire. But when he hit 6 months and people started saying he should be nursing less, and he was still nursing every 2-3 hours, I was a little downtrodden. Then he stopped nursing as much. Halelluia! Then the supply dropped and he stopped wanting to nurse. And now I'm just sad. I am weaning because he downright refuses to nurse unless it's the middle of the night and he is half asleep. There is only so much rejection one poor mama can take. The pump isn't cutting it. So to formula we go. I know he will survive. Claire did just fine. And like I said before, the boy LOVES to eat, so it isn't like he is starving or will starve. And it will be easier in some respects because I don't have to worry about it so much.
4) "Cords are awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Seriously, anything cord or rope like, he heads straight for. He thinks they are so much fun.

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